Sure, Pal ('69 #1) Read online

  I smiled back at him and said, “Deal.”

  We sat in silence for a moment before I said, “I should go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I squeezed his hand and then stood to leave.

  Evan stood, too, and pulled me into his arms for a hug. “Sienna, I want to be more for you, but I’m pretty fucked up right now. I won’t ask you to wait around, either. You deserve the best.”

  I held his face with both hands and smiled. “You don’t have to ask.” I ached to kiss him, but I knew we weren’t there yet. We wouldn’t be there in a week, either. Maybe not even a month. Our love story was a long and flawed one, but it was going to be worth the wait.

  I walked back to my car with steady hands and a calm feeling in my chest.

  27

  Sienna

  I was supposed to be working — sending emails and making appointments for the sales team at my company, but I found myself staring at my phone instead.

  My follower count was still dropping, and a few death threats had even slipped into my inbox after Ava’s stunt.

  This was complete bullshit, and I was sick to death of feeling small. I took a deep breath and clicked on the settings in my profile. My finger hovered over the Delete Account button.

  I wasn’t going to quit my music because there was no way in hell I wanted to work in this boring office my entire life. Deleting my account wasn’t quitting. It was the first step in rebuilding.

  At first, I’d been angry when Ava extended her “help” with my music career, but then I’d accepted it and slid right back under her shadow. The light always seemed to shine so brightly on Ava that some of the light fell on me even in her shadow.

  But it wasn’t mine.

  I deleted my account and felt a weight lift from my shoulders. I was going to start over and build my own following with my own songs. Fuck covers. I’d been writing my own damn songs since I was sixteen. It was about time I shared them with the world.

  Right at five pm, I bolted from my desk and practically ran to my car. I called Toni, the owner of the coffee shop where I played most of my Friday nights. Toni answered, “Hi, sweetheart. Please don’t tell me you’re canceling on me this weekend.”

  I laughed. “Not at all. I was wondering, how would you feel if I sang originals instead of covers?”

  “That’s fine by me, as long as they aren’t explicit. I trust you, hon.”

  I smiled to myself. “Thanks, Toni! I appreciate it! See you Friday!”

  I burst into my apartment and headed straight for my guitar, not even bothering to change out of my work clothes. I had five songs that I could call ready, but I needed at least two more to fill my thirty-minute set at Toni’s.

  I played my guitar and scribbled in my notebook until 2 am when I passed out on my living room floor.

  ◆◆◆

  The next day, I called Evan on my way home from work. I still had no idea what we were. We saw each other and talked all the time. I helped him with stuff at his mom’s. He came to my shows, and we platonically spent the night at each other’s apartments more often than not.

  We didn’t talk about relationships or love or sex.

  I was okay with all of it. I was happy that he was in my life and opening up after losing his dad. I was fine with being his “pal” for now.

  I pulled up to a stoplight, and Evan answered the phone. “Hey, pal.”

  “Hey! Can I run some new songs by you tonight? I think I’m going to play originals at my gig on Friday, and I could use some feedback on a few that I wrote last night.”

  “That’s awesome, Sienna! I’m over at my mom’s if you want to stop by.” I could hear someone talking next to him, then Evan said, “My mom says you’re welcome to stay for dinner, too. She’s making barbecue chicken wings.”

  “She’s cooking again?” A smile forced its way across my face. Evan’s mom was one of the world’s best cooks, but she’d hardly touched her kitchen since Evan’s dad got sick.

  I could hear the smile in Evan’s voice, too. “Yep. So you’ll stay for dinner?”

  “I would love to, thanks! I just need to stop at home to change and grab my guitar.”

  “Cool. I’ll see you soon.”

  When I got to the Cox family home, Evan greeted me at the door. He pulled me in for a hug and then welcomed me inside.

  It wasn’t a loud, cheerful dinner like the ones Ava and I sometimes crashed in high school, but there was a sense of peace that settled over the table tonight.

  After dinner, Bea and her infant daughter headed home, but Evan, Tanya, and Charlie gathered in the living room to hear me play. Evan grinned at me and said, “Presenting the beautiful and talented Sienna Black.” Then he handed me my guitar and slow clapped.

  I laughed and rolled my eyes. It made my heart soar to see him smiling again. It wasn’t all the time, so I had to catch it and hold it in my memory when it happened.

  I started with a few of the covers I usually played at my gigs.

  Evan’s mom watched me play for a minute, and then she said, “Do you know any Boston songs?”

  I smiled. Evan and his dad always blasted classic rock while they worked on the Camaro. “I think I can do More Than a Feeling, but I might butcher it.” I bit my lip and patted my guitar. “Here goes nothing.”

  As I played, I watched a little smile stretch across Tanya’s face. When I finished, she almost whispered, “Thank you.” She reached out and patted my shoulder, and then headed up the stairs.

  Charlie stood, too. “I’ll leave you kids alone to make out.” She gave Evan a pointed look and headed up the stairs after her mom.

  Evan shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. He glanced over at me and said, “Can I hear your new songs now?”

  I cleared my throat and nodded, trying to ignore Charlie’s comment. I missed Evan’s lips. It had been almost a month since I’d felt them against mine, but that wasn’t the way he needed me right now.

  First, I played a song I’d written about taking chances and believing in myself. Evan smiled and clapped when I finished. “Perfect. It’s very you.”

  “Thank you.” I took a deep breath and played the first few chords of the next song. This was Evan’s song, and I wasn’t sure how he would take it. I opened my mouth and softly sang the words I’d stayed up all night writing.

  Raindrops remind me of your love,

  Falling softly from above,

  Like little kisses on my skin

  Like I’m opening to let you in.

  I’m gettin’ soaked, but I’m not cold.

  Instead I feel alive and bold.

  So baby, let it rain on me

  Let your love rain down on me

  Evan watched me, and his eyes burned with something that I couldn’t describe. My heart pounded, but I kept singing.

  So baby, let it rain on me.

  Let your love rain down on me…

  When I finished, Evan ran his fingers through the ends of my hair and said, “I love it.”

  “Thank you.” I smiled at him and caught his hand.

  Suddenly Evan stiffened and pulled away from me. “Sienna, I’m sorry. I’m… a mess. If I’m giving you the idea that I’m ready for a real relationship, I’m sorry. Maybe we shouldn’t do whatever this is. It’s not fair to you.”

  My heart raced, and I worried that the song was too much and that I shouldn’t have sung it for him. But I held my head up high and faked the confidence I didn’t feel. “Are you trying to push me away again? I let you do it before, but selfish confident Sienna is getting stronger every day.” I reached out and patted his cheek. “I’ll see you at my show this weekend.” I stood and picked up my guitar.

  Evan gave me a half-smile and shook his head. “I don’t deserve you.”

  I shrugged and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “That’s unfortunate because you’re stuck with me, so I suggest you get over that feeling sometime in the next twenty years.” I smiled at him over my shoulder and walked out the front door.

>   We were going to figure this out. I knew it.

  28

  Evan

  For the next few weeks, I fell into a rhythm with Sienna, and it was the only thing that kept my head above water. A few mornings a week, she’d come with me to my mom’s house, and we’d take care of all the household chores.

  On the nights that I worked at the restaurant, she’d hang out at the bar until I was off. On the nights I didn’t work, and she had gigs, I’d watch her sing and let her beautiful voice sink into my soul. Then we’d go back to my place, or hers, and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

  That was all that existed to me.

  One night, I walked into her coffee shop gig and was surprised to see less than half of her usual crowd. Her last two shows at a bar had low turn-outs, too, now that I thought about it. I’d been in such a fog that it hadn’t even registered, but something was off.

  I watched Sienna up on the little stage, pride filling me to the brim when she started singing one of her originals.

  Not every chance is made of gold,

  Not every road is right

  Not every love is made to last

  Or even worth the fight…

  Damn, she was beautiful. I knew, watching her up on that little stage, bravely singing her own anthem, that I’d never love another woman the way I loved her.

  After Sienna’s show, we walked through the parking lot, hand-in-hand. That was all we’d done since the funeral — hold hands and spoon in bed. My head felt too messed up for anything else, and Sienna didn’t deserve the roller coaster I’d most definitely put her through if I acted on my physical desires.

  I unlocked my car and she put her guitar in the back seat. She looked sad and tired. Was it because of me, or something else? “Sienna? What’s going on?” I asked.

  She frowned and climbed into my passenger seat. “What do you mean?”

  “You look sad, and your crowds got really small all the sudden.” I glanced over at her as I drove to her apartment.

  “Oh.” She stared at her hands. “You noticed that, huh?”

  “Yes.” I reached over and took her hand, running my thumb over the calluses on the tips of her fingers. She’d been playing her guitar constantly, hardly giving herself a break.

  Sienna let out a long, slow breath. “I told Ava about us.”

  I nodded. I figured that was the case when they didn’t come within ten feet of each other at my dad’s funeral. “I know.”

  Sienna sighed. “So, you saw her post then?”

  I raised both eyebrows. “Her post? No… I haven’t really been on any social platforms for a while.”

  “Oh, well, that’s probably for the best.”

  “Sienna, what happened with Ava?” From the look on her face, something worse than a little fight went down.

  Sienna flashed me a fake smile. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

  “Seriously, what happened?”

  Sienna sighed. “Uh, okay, if you really want to know, she said I was dead to her and then made a very public post about her back-stabbing, bitch ex-best friend. She deleted it later, but my number of followers tanked from about 14k to 600 in less than forty-eight hours.” Sienna’s voice sounded tight and stressed. “But you know, they followed me because Ava told them to, and they left me because Ava told them to. They were never really my fans.”

  “Shit. And you didn’t tell me.” I pulled into a parking stall and took both of Sienna’s hands in mine.

  Sienna let out a dry laugh and shook her head. “You kind of had other things on your plate. You still do. This isn’t important.”

  “Of course it is. You…” My head spun, and my heart pounded. “You broke up with your best friend and then got attacked by trolls, even after I pushed you away. Why would you do that?”

  Sienna took both of my hands in hers. “Because I choose you. It means you are absolutely the one I can’t live without, and I wish like hell I’d chosen you sooner.”

  I unbuckled my seatbelt and took her face in both hands. What the hell was I waiting for? I loved the shit out of this girl, and it wasn’t doing either of us any favors for me to hold her at arm's-length until I felt better. I pressed my lips to hers, and she answered back with burning passion. Sienna wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her hands in my hair. She sighed against my lips and then broke the kiss.

  I gazed into her eyes, feeling dizzy and out of breath. “You’re mine.”

  Sienna nodded. “Yeah, dude. I thought it was obvious.”

  I climbed out of the car and scooped Sienna up in my arms. She smiled at me and said, “The last time you carried me like this, I was about to die from anaphylaxis.”

  I smiled back at her as I carried her up to her apartment. “You scared the shit out of me that day, pal. I think that was when I first realized I still felt more than friendship for you.”

  Once inside her apartment, I carried Sienna straight to her bed. I lay her down in the middle and hovered over her, forcing myself to show some restraint. I was grieving, and my head was a mess, but I ached for her. She was the only thing that made sense in all of the bullshit I’d been through in the last year.

  I wanted to tear her clothes off and feel her skin against mine. I wanted to get lost in Sienna, but I also knew she’d made a tough decision for me. She’d lost her best friend and tanked her career for me, and I hadn’t even noticed. Did she regret it? I pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and asked, “Are you sure you made the right choice? I’m a broken mess right now.”

  Sienna’s eyes burned with something indescribable. “Yes. I love all of your pieces, and when you’re ready, we’ll pick them all up and put you back together.”

  My wall of restraint collapsed, and my desire burst through. I kissed her lips and slid my tongue into her mouth, pressing my body into hers. Sienna opened her legs and wrapped them around me while my hands roamed her body. I slid the strap of her tank top down and ran kisses from her shoulder to her jaw.

  It wasn’t enough. I sat up and tugged my shirt off over my head. Sienna did the same with her tank top. I unhooked her bra and ran my tongue over her nipples, loving the way they hardened for me. “ You’re mine.”

  Her eyes traveled over my face. “I’ve always been yours. I didn’t know if you were mine, though. I didn’t know if I hurt you too much or if my timing was a complete mess.”

  I smiled and brushed her hair back, stroking her face with my thumb. “You did hurt me, and your timing is a complete mess, but you could throw that right back at me, couldn’t you? I know I hurt you, too. Maybe we just forget about everything that happened in the past and focus on the here and now.”

  Sienna nodded. “What do you want right now?”

  I laughed and leaned down to suck on her tits. Then I glanced up at her. “Well, I mean, right this second, I want to fuck you.” I pressed my erection against her warm center. “After that, I’d like to call you my girlfriend, because yeah, I’m yours, too.”

  Sienna laughed and gently pushed me off of her. She stood and slid out of her jeans and panties. Then she stood at the foot of her bed and slowly ran her hands down her body.

  My words came out in a low growl. “Get over here.”

  Sienna bit her lip and slowly turned in a circle. “I thought you liked to enjoy the view first.”

  “Fuck. I do.” I stood and pulled off my pants.

  Sienna gazed at my cock as it sprang free. She licked her gorgeous lips and asked, “Soft and sweet, or rough and wild?”

  I laughed and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her down onto the bed with me. “What about rough and sweet? I want to claim every inch of your body, and some of that will require rough handling.” I gripped her ass. “Like, this ass is mine.”

  She nodded.

  I flipped her over and kissed each breast. “These tits are mine.”

  She nodded.

  I kissed her neck and shoulders. “Mine.” I pressed my lips to hers. “Mine.” I ran my hands down her body,
and she seemed to shiver with anticipation. When I reached her pussy, I gently slid my tongue into her slit. She gasped and arched her back. I pulled back, just slightly, and said, “Mine.”

  Sienna moaned with her eyes closed. “Yes! Oh god, Evan, yes!”

  Her arousal was the sexiest fucking thing I’d ever seen. I ran my tongue over her clit, wanting to fill her to bursting with pleasure and not wanting to miss the look on her face when she came. Sienna fucking Black — my fucking soulmate, my little slice of heaven, mine.

  When she came, I almost felt her pleasure, too. I felt her body tense, shudder, and then melt as she rode each wave. Fuck. Yes. I slid my cock right into her pussy and groaned as I felt her walls still tightening from her orgasm. I lifted her legs, and she pressed them against my shoulders as I thrust into her. Fuck, I’d missed this.

  After I came, I lay next to her and pulled her into my arms. “I’m sorry about Ava. I’m sorry I didn’t even notice what you were going through.” I played with her hair, and she rested her head on my chest.

  When she spoke, her voice was quiet and soft. “You have nothing to apologize for, Evan. Don’t ever apologize for your grief or for asking to be put first.”

  “Right back at you. We’re going to put each other first because that’s what we both deserve.”

  29

  Six Months Later

  Evan

  My dad was gone. I gave up my soccer career. Sienna was my girlfriend. Those were the three concrete realities staring me in the face. The first two made me want to punch a wall. The last one made me believe that someday I’d stop wanting to punch that wall.

  Sienna kept telling me that she loved all my pieces and that we’d figure it all out together, and I fucking loved her for it. But it wasn’t on her to get my head screwed on straight. That was on me.

  Sienna deserved something huge for getting me through the absolute worst year of my life. And I had the perfect surprise lined up.